What a heartbreaking thought. I am so grateful for all the supportive people around me who tell me otherwise.
Isn't it sad how that thought plagues us as mothers though. The last few weeks it has been haunting me. Luckily I am well supported by my gorgeous man who often tells me he knows I am doing a good job. And when I tell my friends I am struggling with this idea I am truly blessed by the responses I receive.
The other day I cycled past a piece of newspaper on the floor with the headline 'MONSTER MUM'. Just glimpsing those words left a sick feeling in my stomach. What must she have done to earn that headline? No, I do not want to know. But we can all guess, can't we? We have all seen those stories.
So there are plenty of negative role models in our minds. What about positive role models? Who are we told we should emulate? 'Earth Mothers'? 'Successful Career Mothers' who have it all? 'Celebrity Mothers'? The standards are always high.
Some days I feel overwhelmed as I think I should have perfectly behaved children, a clean and tidy house, everything organised, everything 'done'. Those are the days the "I am a terrible mother" thoughts start to sneak in.
Thankfully my friends are happy to point out that "no, Vick it is ok. You are doing just fine as you are."
I often wonder if the mothers who get the 'Monster Mother' title are missing out on friends who remind them that they don't have to do everything perfectly. That it is ok not to have it all together all the time. Obviously it goes deeper than just that. It is totally not that simple I know.
Children deserve to receive all the love and patience we can give them. I certainly find I am more loving and patient when I feel supported and loved.
I am so grateful to have that support.
I'm doing ok. I can always learn more skills, new ways of doing things and I strive to be the best Mother I can be.
If you are struggling with how you see yourself as a Mum it is worth picking up Naomi Stadlen's book 'What Mothers Do'. Amazing book no matter what kind of mum you are.