I love to move, to change, to venture into new places and meet new people. I love how each time I do this I find new friends to add into my life. I feel so blessed to have so many friends old and new in my life.
Staying still is a big challenge for me. Why this is so, I cannot really say. There is of course the old debate of nature/nurture. Is it just who I am that makes me crave the next adventure? Or is it because as a child we moved from place to place, not often compared to some but I had lived in 5 different places by the time I was 11 years old. 5 different places, 5 different homes. My family of origin were my home. And now I have made myself a new family to be my home. My wee family of creation is my home now and I'm ready to stretch my wings and fly again.
Before now, as a young adult, stretching my wings and flying away meant leaving my family behind. It always involved tearing the part of me that adores being tucked up in a family. The feeling of being necessary, important, accepted, loved. But despite the pain of leaving behind that family net, I left each time. I knew I needed to. I left repeatedly for Zimbabwe, for Wales, for Scotland, for Northern England, for France, for Australia. And I don't mean for holidays, the shortest one of those trips was 3 months, the longest 3 years. Each time I left to go it was because I needed to. It is a part of who I am. I love my family of origin but something bigger was calling me, driving me on to find my home.
The last 4 years have brought seismic shifts to my life. I have created a family. I have 2 beautiful children and a wonderful husband. I have a family of creation. I still love my family of origin of course. My siblings and parents and grandparents are all important in my life and in the lives of my husband and children too. But my priorities have changed.
I am the Mother of my own family now. My first priorities are to my husband whom I have chosen to journey through life with and my children to whom I have committed myself to raise in the best way I can. That means whichever way works the best for each of them individually and for myself as a Mother and a woman and for all of us as a family.
And a happy Mamma means a happy family.
And so my wings are flexing and starting to spread again. It is time to move on. The adventurer in me has been stirring for a while. Berkshire is beautiful. I love my family and my friends and they will always be important to me. It just feels like time for a change, a new challenge.
Moving this time requires less of a cutting a part of me in order to go. I can leave closer to whole this time. Because I can have adventures with my family of creation. I can take my family with me. I can honour my need for adventure and my need for belonging.
I have found my home.
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