Out of the habit. I can feel the difference.
Gratitude works.
It works to make me feel more positive.
It works to help me see the good things that happen each day.
It keeps me focussed on what is going right in my world.
I know this because for 18 months I played a game. A positivity game with a few other people.
Since I started playing this game good things have happened.
And for the last two months or so I have stopped playing. Not consciously. Not deliberately. I have just drifted away from it. Mostly because my phone isn't picking up our wifi upstairs anymore so I can't use the evenings to play anymore. Also because writing my list sends me to sleep (and rather than acknowledge that I am probably tired and need sleep I'd rather plough through reams of websites slowly and frustratingly until I fall asleep in exasperation rather than gratitude. Sometimes I make weird choices for myself!!)
And just because this game takes time that I thought could be better spent elsewhere.
So, what's the game? It's called Bambinated Postiivity Game and I play it through an app called Coach.me. Bambinated was how it started. Someone misread Bombinated and people speculated on how perhaps being bambinated meant having to wear a Bambi head as your profile picture for not following the rules of a game. That game became a positivity game.
Postiivity though because the founder mistyped positivity. I like the human imperfections of the name.
The game is that every day you write a list of 15 positive things. Even on the worst days. Especially on the worst days. And you share your list with the rest of the players, in fact you share your list on coach.me and anyone can read it. And then you read the other lists. This part is as vital as writing and sharing your list. Watching other people celebrating their great days, being grateful for the little things on ordinary days and finding positive things to say about even the very worst days of their lives. If you have the time or the inclination you can write a comment on someone's list. Or just acknowledge it by 'propping' (like liking) it. And then the next day you start again.
And if you miss a day? You change your profile picture to a picture of Bambi and your name changes to include 'bambinated'. 7 continuous days of lists means you can change back to yourself again.
It's amazing how open and honest people are in this game. How easy it is to see to the very heart of people. As we share our joys and our sorrows we uplift each other. The app used to be called lift and that was a more accurate name for this game. It lifts us all up. We all benefit from each other. And you know what, we make friends too. I have online friends. A few people who have really impacted my life in positive ways. They are all over the globe - mostly in America, one in Ireland, Canada, some fellow Brits, an Aussie. But also a Singaporean author, a couple of ex-pat teachers in Korea. Each participant has added a different dimension to the game. Like the amazing woman who shared the loss of her Grandchild and still sprinkles love, support and fairy dust through her life and ours. Or the courageous woman who has faced all manner of hurt and abuse in her life who has turned her life around before our very eyes going from sleeping on a couch all day to sleeping in a bed, healing from cancer and finding a wonderful job. Or the inspiring man who despite growing up on a farm has eschewed meat and dairy in favour of a vegan diet who climbs mountains and collects rubbish from the trails. And many more. Some have come and gone, others have endured in the game or in my heart. Funny how I may never meet most of these people but I have shared some powerful experiences with them.
Gratitude is a powerful force for good in the world. I have written gratitude lists in one form or another since 2004 when I read an article on the science of gratitude and how effective writing down just 3 to 5 positive things a day can be at raising a persons ability to heal and to feel better. At 15 things bambinated took gratitude lists to the next level and that is what drew me to the game.
For the last few months I haven't played properly. I've struggled to make the time to write the lists. Something inside me said it was too easy or too hard or I didn't need it anymore or something. I fell out of the habit. And now I can feel the difference. I'm noticing the 'bad' things more than the good. I'm focussing on the hard bits of life rather than the fun, joyful parts. Even the thought of finding 15 good things to say baffles me. And yet there is another part to me that knows I can find 15 positive things easily. How about right now? Start easy Vic.
1. Hot water.
2. Comfortable bed.
3. Power shower.
4. Smart phone to write this on.
5. People who care enough about me to read this blog.
6. Food in the cupboard.
7. Clean drinking water in the tap
8. Flushable toilets
9. Modern plumbing generally is a huge blessing.
10. Loving family and friends
11. Our lovely car on the driveway that represents freedom to me
12. My work as a pregnancy photographer
13. The ability to write
14. The pleasure of reading
15. The ease with which I can find 15 blessings in my life.
As I said at the start...
Gratitude works.
It works to make me feel more positive.
It works to help me see the good things that happen each day.
It keeps me focussed on what is going right in my world.
Thank you for being a part of my life. You are a treasure.